Word of the Year

it's that time again, but will it stick?

Eons ago when blogging was a thing, I used to follow a handful of smart writer moms and often found solace in the shared lunacy and wonder of early motherhood (heavy on lunacy, at least those were the ones I related to most). Sometimes there were shared themes or start-a-sentence concepts, which I didn’t usually gravitate to, but I did join one annual tradition a few times - Word of the Year, in lieu of resolutions.

The word idea sparked something because it had room to grow or shift, whereas resolutions did not. It was more than a singular word, but about a concept that you could tease out or stretch like taffy.

To be clear, the word idea often lagged a few months (or less) into the new year, and now I struggle to recall ANY of the words I chose (Breathe? Free? Presence? dunno). But I decided to give it another shot, perhaps because the word came to me quite easily, and is soft squishy in a way that seems possible, or perhaps even necessary, as we gear up for whatever fresh or not fresh hell is coming in 2025.

Nurture - hmmm, now that I type it out it sounds like of dumb, maybe a little too gooey? But let me explain.

Nurture in a more layered, nuanced way, not superficially like going to a spa. But about taking care, protecting, keeping warm, and coaxing (back) to life.

I’d like to nurture myself this year, like my actual corporeal self, which I already do by getting outside as much as I can, lifting weights with my favorite middle aged women friends (shout out to the barn!), eating mostly ok and not drinking tooooo much, but also focusing on my somewhat neglected interior self. Writing and reading and thinking, letting my mind wander, being curious, interested, openminded and openhearted. It’s so easy in my busy single-mother-full-time-working life to neglect this vital part of me, and let’s face it, some days I simply cannot, but other days I can try to remember, and practice, what makes me feel like me.

I will also - obviously - nurture my kids - but some of the focus will be on teaching them how to nurture themselves and finding comfort beyond me, away from me. My oldest is halfway through their junior year of high school (!) and despite my tendency to ostrich my head in the sand, change is coming for them, for us, sooner than ever. Maybe they’ll stay close to home, a hunch I have, or maybe it’s a hope, but regardless it will be different. I will be halfway to the empty nest (though I have a feeling my nest will never be totally empty).

What else to nurture? My friendships of course, which have shifted and changed in ways I could not have predicted over the past couple of years. Now more than ever I feel strongly about the value of deep kindness and shared vulnerability and support, both given and received. I do not take my friends for granted, the small but mighty community I have cultivated and grown.

Looking more closely at the origin of the word nourish reminds me of my boyfriend, who I had a first date with four years ago today. It was the height of covid and we took a not so socially distant walk on a freezing December day, hands bundled deeply in pockets, but hips occasionally brushing against one another. I still remember how cold it was, but also not wanting our walk to end.

Taken on December 29, 2020 at 10:14am. We called this the “death train car” because something was definitely decomposing.

Origin of nurture

Middle English: from Old French noureture ‘nourishment’, based on Latin nutrire ‘feed, cherish’.

My boyfriend is a chef and contractor, so his nourishment often arrives in the physical form of cooking and building, of which I am the frequent, fortunate recipient. He nourishes me with amazing meals, but also with little favors, like pulling up my trash cans when he arrives at my house first, or cleaning up the dishes while I deal with bedtime. He makes delicious ice cream sundaes which we share while watching TV. And even though we have differing custody schedules to contend with, we always connect at night to finish the New York Times spelling bee.

It’s the little things that add up, one by one by one, and nurture a relationship and create a life.

So we’ll see how the year plays out, politically, globally, but when all those things feel too much, too terrible, too out of my control, I can look inward, and focus on my word and my people, my family of origin, and the family I have found.